Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Watching Her Sleep


She clutches her bear
when lonely
smokes sometimes
when she feels

I am patient with her
like she is my therapist
she said I redefine love
and its culture
but she is all
I know of love

She is every good thing
only human still

We revolve around "reality"
study cultures
till we find our own
She feels like my home

We stack dreams
on top of oxytocin
because its the only thing
that will hold the weight

I can feel her arms
around my neck
her body against mine
even when she isn't there

When i met her
I dreamed
in some lifetime
she would love me

Until now
I wondered
if my Karma
was bad

Alice in Wonderland

Monday, November 22, 2010

Starbucks At 3

How about I don't chase you
and you don't chase me
and we just dream over
coffee at starbucks at 3

we can talk about how
the world is so small but
everyone is still so far apart
romanticize moments like priceless art

you can tell me all the things
that ever made you smile
lets create a new moment
and just laugh for a while

when i look in your eyes
i see a lover looking back
someone who makes me feel
like who i think i am

I want to soak this all in
scent sound sight taste and touch
but don't drift away
i would miss you so much

tell me all about
the things that you feel
from the big to the small
i want to know you be real

just relax all the things
that keep you locked inside
its safe here baby
you don't have to hide

show me your weakness
and ill show you youre strong
do you ever feel boxed in?
ever notice your warden disguised as a friend?

i don't have all the answers
just most of the questions
can we just feel for the moment
and not sift through life lessons

can i taste your coffee
straight from you lips
we can talk about showers
honest hips and cruise ships

ill tell you about my impossible fantasies
and how hard i fought to find the man in me
i listen as your words bring to mind
a lifetime of moments with all 6 senses
undefined unlabeled no need for pretenses

stay a while and factor me like picasso
if our souls hold each other
i promise i won't let go
til you sigh and say so

Coffee & Conversation

She Said

She said
"This isn't goodbye but we may lose touch.
You know if the current of our choices pull
us in opposite directions or the winds of our
lives blow so hard we can't make the corrections.
If you chase your dreams and i chase mine and we
find that its been a long time. When you think back
on the time that we had. The dreams we shared.
The love and devotion we declared. Don't regret
anything. Don't resent me for the choices i made.
I won't resent you for yours. When i think of you i
want to remember your smile. I want to remember
how your lips and eyes look when you were
happy with me. I want to remember us when it
was how love was supposed to be. If we lose touch,
Don't think this never meant that much.
Because for a moment in time you were my everything."

He Said Beer, She Said Wine: Impassioned Food Pairings to Debate and Enjoy: from Burgers to Brie and Beyond


your words are like showers

to my dying violet lotus flower.

something like the sun that

draws it to the surface

realizing that even its death

had not been worthless.

an acceptance of its purpose

the seconds in its hour

the scars on its skin

of previous lives

yet the lungs

that make it strain

to breathe again.


Wrongs About Jane

my life seems like
more goodbyes
than hellos
more times than
ive seen them come
ive had to watch them go
Im great with the chemicals
Im that one
with the romance
make you lose
your mind
for a moment
in a slow dance
but i walk
through life alone
unmailed letters
unanswered words
promises broken
unmet expectations
and disappointment
I never meant to
I only want to
I dream about
bridges across forever
and happily ever
but i never
seem to get
that part right
I can't remember
all the faces
and ive forgotten
some of the names
because I can't
trust them
and i can't
heal my pain
what used to be enough
now can't even begin
to even travel through
the state im in
I didn't care
whos girl
or from what world
I was willing
to be
the designated hitter
the 6th man
now i just don't
think i can
its been
at least a year now
since i let
someone elses
sleep at my house
I'm no casanova
never been a mack
or a playa
I did watch and learn
I could almost always earn
trust faith and love
and they would
cry in my arms
yield to my charm
I figured if
they came to me
then i did no harm
but then i loved
with all that i knew
heart, mind, soul,
and body too.
I thought we
were about to be
a family
but she had
5 other guys
I never let her
see tears
in my eyes
no way i would ever
let her see me cry
I just said goodbye

Songs About Jane

Thursday, November 18, 2010


You have been my Marquis De Sade
and the way you punish me feels like a god
I don't know how we ended up naked
and it felt so bad I just couldn't take it

and it felt so good
like the backseat of a rolls royce
surrounded by woodgrain
you are who I thank
for this pain in my brain
and it felt so good

love me leave me be true and deceive me
your my addiction my obsession
my answerless question
my queen my warden my lizzie borden
love me leave be true and deceive me

hit me up in the back of my head
make me feel weak
tell me Im nothing
til I fall fast asleep

tell me I aint shit
tell me you know Ill quit
tell me that love is hate
and that I need to push some weight
tell me I aint shit

call me with all your complaints
tell me men are dogs and women are saints
lie to me cry to me die to me
use me then say you hate
what are you doing saturday
can we have another date?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dance With Me

its nice to soak up some sunshine
intoxicating like some red wine
chemical romance in my mind
rapid the beat of my heart
dance with me under the stars
near to you i can go far
when it rains when it pours
when we watch the birds soar
fresh like never before
come by here and walk with me
stay round here and talk with me
book some tickets
and fly off with me
where you want to go
i just want to be beside you
and get to know
if you like how i tell it
then watch how i show
lets dance to your drum
tell me all about where you come from
dance til we both get numb
lets laugh together
change the weather
talk about birds of a feather
where space and time stops
just let the beat drop
and fly with me over tree tops
and lets never come down
merge together in sound
and this new thing we have found
or ill just watch you dance
ask you for one chance
i know you like this romance
im glad you saw me
you know where ill be
just dont forget to call me

One of the Boys

Sunday, November 14, 2010


when i woke up
you were still
inside me
beside me
now youre back with him
and i dont know
which is more unforgettable
the way i said too much
or the way your nipples taste
it really caught me by surprise
the impatience in your eyes
you needed it
now you have conflicts
and you dont want
your religious boyfriend to know
thats whats up when i go down
i never meant to lose you
but as you opened up
i could feel us growing apart
but i didn't hesitate
even when i made you wait
our souls merged for a moment
skin on skin
i cant get your nipples
out of my mind
a moment in time
then you left with
a weak lie
to spend time
with your guy
it was beautiful
but i feel empty too
tabitha what will i do
when i cant fall asleep
between Ron and you

Intricate Web of Distraction by Whit Hadyn

My Love Is Not

My love is not...

My love is not for the skeptical
for the terminally unimpressible
My love is not for the jaded
for the ones who like the world segregated

my love is not for the lovers of money
for those who think my pain is funny
my love is not for those who don't
for those who can't or for those who won't

My love is not for gangsta bytches
that only love thugs with whips and switches
my love is not for the material girl
for those who choose their fathers world

My love is not for the weak
for those who act hard but are too soft to speak
my love is not for the imitator
for those who can't see the visibilificator

My love is not for the fake
for those who can't create
My love is not for anything untrue...
my love is for you...

Ruminations at Twilight: Poetry Exploring the Sacred

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Lying In Wait

The Museum pays 10 Shillings
for 2 muses
So I built this trap,
filled it with muse food

I put in some friends of minimalists
one of picassos mistresses
bukowskis fiance
a book on psychological revolution
a compilation album
from the bad boy label
a collection of poetry
filled with ambiguity

I put it all under a large enough box
propped it up with ego on one side
and insecurity on the other

I sat under the closest tree
and waited and watched
till I saw this butterfly

I made silence in my mind
sat still breathed deeply
held out my hand
waited on the butterfly to land

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I love the curve
of your hip
the skin begs me
to feel it
with my lips
my tongue
my finger tips
taste your light
and darkness
when you breathe
I see an artist
lay on your back
let me finish
what I started
the sheet a canvas
the mood romantic
whispers from your lips
become wishes granted

Violet Lotus

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Lies Sarah Told Me

The truth never
needs an alibi
and in between
her secrets
come the lies
pitch black
i realize
he is thoughtless
she is careless
im just less
nothing new
nothing to do
nothing to impress
she only likes wine
til the end of time?
or even a friend of mine?
she builds
she destroys
she heals
she toys
she wants a girl
and a boy
and to employ
she boosts my ego
and steals my joy
and to her surprise
when i look in her eyes
i see her secrets
and her lies
now im despised
and he is counsel
she never leaves
til she knows
where shes going

Loving Lies

Saturday, October 30, 2010

To See For Oneself (An Obduction Of A Poet)

Press Play before You Read

Diagnoses from the Dead: The Book of Autopsy

The scientist was meticulous to avoid errors of Omission.

She searched with diligence for pulmonary emboli,

for any signs of chemical stimuli.

She inspected the internal organs for evidence of trauma,

The Hypothalamus and the Aorta for evidence of drama.

In a systematic fashion she observed areas of intelligence and compassion

The case in question gave her the impression,

That the poet himself may have been the work of art.

The pericardia sac is opened to view the heart.

A filter is found in the inferior vena cava

Her hypothesis is that love is what he was a slave of.

The pulmonary artery is opened.

She found no signs he was afraid or that he was hoping.

The aortic arch was left intact,

So the embalmer could keep the poets encore on track.

While viewing the vein at the hilum,

she prayed the poet had found asylum.

After the heart and its contents were examined and weighed,

the brain was brought from its formalin stay.

Prior to removing the brain a Stryker saw creates a cap.

She imagined neural pathways as a map,

to the journey of this creator.

His imagination like a theater

She found subthalmic infarctions.

She deduced the source as toxins in the womb.

The effects had stayed from then till tomb.

Studying the Cerebellum she found an imprecision.

Somehow trial and error had taught him indecision

she found a pronounced dopamine dysfunction,

from a programmed anticipation of judgment day injunctions.

She detected signs of pleasure addictions,

substantially lowered inhibitions.

As if he created to increase Dopamine production.

Hypothetically bliss could have led to his destruction

Dissecting pathways pathologically altered,

She knew him for a moment and her aloofness faltered.

He was addicted to freedom, ideologically tied to a post

He was a mannikin filled with lonely ghosts.

She kept her findings inside the lines,

but was forever changed by his heart and mind.

She said a prayer that angels heard,

and her conclusion contained these words.

Frontal lobe fried from a few too many "Whys?",

and the heart failed after one too many alibis.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Wizard of Odds

The String Quartet Tribute to The Who's "Tommy"

I'm crying out for you tonight
though I know you won't hear me
I am serving those who I know still don't feel me.
Those close to me offer direction and wise words
They trap me in their memories and lock me down with their fear

I looked at your pictures again tonight
Wondered if you think of Tennessee
I walk alone and how brutally true, Let it be
right up in their face and they can't see me
My dreams never let me sleep

saturated by the souls of angels and devils
like vultures they fly above me
never attempting to come to my level
I do feel fear but I get up anyway
I do feel pain but I laugh anyway

It feels like I walk the bridges wall
too bad to die young so I know I won't fall
sinking in challenges I don't know how to solve
they may surround me by 4x6 but still I evolve

would I strain without my emptiness
would I grind without my pain
would the satisfaction of things I long for
put me fast asleep

I'm not the peoples poet
only a hand full seem to feel
I question everything and everyone
I believe in a creator but I rarely kneel

my life feels fruitless at times
Makes me wonder why I survived death
I think mostly in rhymes
my inspiration takes my breath

I'm disconnected I don't feel attached
I look around but no one is found
who really has my back
I want nothing more than I want rebound

I want that feel back
I want to pop the crowd
I don't care about whips and stacks
I just want history to write my name down

Id rather be Jack Kerouac than Curtis Jackson
lost between perception and reality
subject to the laws of attraction
I am so far outside things
its like deprivation of all five senses
I can see my reality but we are separated by fences

These words will never be spoken
I feel like a punchline but I'm not joking
I don't know who I am so how can I tell you
selfishly I say I love you because I want you to love me too.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Holding Hands In Hell

Its always a quarter til 4
since God told me go to hell and hold hands
She asked me to be an angel when i
never really knew how to be a man
lost in spacetime found in the divine
breathe contemplate continuate my mind
I didn't come to save but accept love forgive
those God gave me no matter how they live
I don't bring a rule book, Ill not follow or lead
ill not tell anyone God requires good deeds
ill only let my love do what it do soul shine through
i asked for nothing in return but God gave me you
to hold my hand to help me to see
freedom to survive in manufactured reality
touch me hold me give me your kiss
ill do my time here in hell stay high on this bliss

The Edgar Allan Poe Collection, Vol. 1: Annabel Lee and Other Tales of Mystery and Imagination

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I Love U2

Boy [Vinyl]

Tonight i payed U2 back
for using their name in vain.
I was expecting something colorful
but this man was kind of plain.
Something like a white christian kerouac
whose wife was black
with concerns about his brain.
I said the world has vertigo and its dizzy.
I listened to what he had to say
encouraged him to get busy.
When the world has equillibrium
the body will stand up and walk.
He told me tales of motorcycles.
Southern belles and coffee talk.
Thanked me for my prophecy and
gave me his 30 dollar poem for free.
I told him about twilight and rainbows
how crack heads work for God.
He wont remember my name
but Eye aM the wizard of odds.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Love Always Theory

She plays the scars on my heart
like a minimalist.
she makes words come
like a ventriloquist.
she raises whats dead in me
like an anointed one.
then invokes fear and reality
like a pointed gun.
as I see the impressions
ghosts have left.
love increases
and becomes more complex.
She is the wholeness
of my true existence.
I can physically feel
any spiritual distance.
and infinitely the odds
When she seeks counsel
from things I can’t see.
but everytime we
singers in our new universe
gain control and inflect
Yesterdays fears
sometimes silence the moment
Tomorrows dreams
once lied dormant
Awaken in rainbows
and in the space between
dark and light
I want to fall asleep with her
on my last night
and live to see
a million mornings

Gossip Girl: I Will Always Love You: A Gossip Girl novel

Being Bukowski

Bukowski: Born Into This Poster Movie 11x17

Being John Malkovich

"I envy your opportunity to be a mother.
You get to experience something with that child
that no one else in the world will ever experience.
Then after he or she is born you never have to worry
about anyone taking them from you or interfering
in that relationship."

Abby said "You are the only man I've ever heard say something like that".

She sips her Caramel Macchiato, reads "Women" by Charles Bukowski.

She is so Beautiful.

Eye aM Bukowski.

Shes a Cancer.

My sign is "Readers wanted" or flashes "Ghostbusting"
When its time to deliver some lines.

When you're Bukowski the world is the space between
pen and page. Where the story lies.

Waiting for you to say "let there be Write".

Cassidy and Jay Z whisper in either ear
"She's a hustla homie"

I said "but she hustles with me".

Abby said "What"?

I smiled and said "Ah, Just thinking out loud".

Thought bubble.

The things I see and the things I've seen
wrestle inside me in a fight to the death
for my sanity it seems.

It gets bloody at times.
The blood spills from my lips.
Or my finger tips.

Eye aM Yin and Yang.

Puppet Master Boxset

Strings Attached


Eye Candy I by Liz Jardine 16"x16" Art Print Poster

There are moments in life
that fail to inspire
where you feel like youre lost
out on the ocean
without expectation of tomorrow
All you can see is yesterday
you feel yourself sink
beneath the waves
and get tossed around
like randomness
like so many broken dreams
tossed aside unrealized
reality checks in
fantasy checks out
for a moment I quit
for a moment I didn't swim
I wanted to be washed away
not see any tomorrow
not feel any loss
not dream of things
that might never come
I might've never moved
the waves could have carried me for miles
I felt my delusions atrophy
possibilities faded away
desire died
and I was fine with it
your face appeared in my mind
a smile that I wanted to be for me
nothing in me reacted or resisted
I just let every part of me
fade into you
I floated through eternity
through lifetimes with you
moments that remapped my dna
8 billion different realities
I could feel you touch me
I could feel your soul
and my soul
become one
the sand under my feet
brought me back
to right now
I stood
my head barely above the water
I walked up onto the beach
Your face burned in my mind
in my heart
your soul
is my soul
my soul
is your soul
I don't feel alone


Fragile Art of Existence

Eye slept through the revolution
and the fall of rome
and woke up no place safe
and no place i could call my own
i memorized maps
only to find myself lost
been told i was among the richest
always finding myself unable to pay the cost
all i know all i see
all that ever directed me
were things that i lack
running with no wind at my back
trying to reach the stars
waking up in crashed cars
i write the songs
about things they long
with mistakes in grammar
sculpting without a hammer
holding only an ace
not even recognizing my own face
thinking myself false even to myself
caring less about wealth
brightly lit boxes without windows
water climbing mountains doesn't flow
exhaustion wraps me up
and rocks me like a baby
drinking too much duality from dirty cups
im kidding myself maybe
not drawn and searching
jerking and lurching
like forced rhymes
that can't keep time
and then the wind blows
and i let it all go
only to find
that i exist only in my mind

Dancer Dancer

Private Dancer

dancer dancer

will you ride

with me


shakespeare and

shots ringing out

as hard

as i try to be good

they wont let me

sleep in the house

i know you feel me

i can see it

through the tears

in your eyes.

I love you

you don’t

have to love me back

but I’m right here

if life slides off track

I am inside you

I feel what you feel

your name

on my lips

every time I kneel

hoping theres a God

out there somewhere

dancer dancer

do you wanna ride


Color Changing Fiber Optic Butterfly Nightlight; Pink Glowing LED Butter Fly Night Light Makes A Great Gift Idea

I don’t know
if you are coming alive
in front of me
or I’m just getting
to know you better
you seemed so
sad and withdrawn
back then
and now you
seem alive
and you
smile more
and you
have this shine
about you.
you are a
new kind
of beautiful
I am happy
that I
have gotten
to see this
to get to know
to get to
see you
spread your wings
I can’t wait
to see you fly

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Good Life

Napoleon Dynamite, Wig and Glasses

Napoleon Bonaparte: The background, strategies, tactics and battlefield experiences of the greatest commanders of history

The smoothest road is the longest
staying alive doesn't mean you're the strongest
remain silent and smug to be thought wise
by who? those with superficial eyes?

this way is constant competition
they have no plans of reading my petition
machines built to serve feast on the served
bailouts and bankruptcies curbed

you find out who your friends are
when you take the doing me thing too far
if they pay close attention they will understand
there is no door for me and I'm not the man

the race and the prize to the swift
I'm fine with that I'll take my gifts
we evolve through pretty faces
face first toward a fall that disgraces

I have a napoleon complex
i feel like riding down to the village
to wreak havoc and destruction
rob and pillage
give it back to the families
of those that are dying too much
but i love peace and i hate to steal
just because you can't touch
doesn't mean you don't feel

Good Life

Kanye West Presents Thank You and You're Welcome